It’s the Barren B*tches Book Brigade! Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

by Gabrielle on May 26th, 2008

I’m late! I’m late! For my Barren B*tches Book Tour Date! Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

But better late than never, right?

For those of you who aren’t familiar, each month, bloggers can sign up to read and review a book, usually related to infertility and/or pregnancy loss. Everyone is welcome to join. You just need to have a blog (not necessarily related to fertility, infertility and/or pregnancy loss). Bloggers/readers submit questions. Each participant selects a few to answer. Sometimes, when we get lucky (like this month), the authors themselves join the discussion.

This month’s read was Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, a book which follows the life of Jacob Jankowski from the classroom at Cornell to his present status as a nursing home resident. The years in between just happen to be as a member of the Benzini Brothers traveling show.

I spent the first hundred pages scratching my head and wondering where the connecting with infertility was going to appear. Was the circus a metaphor? Was Jacob’s abrupt loss of his parents and unlikely future path symbolic of how life has thrown us all a curve? I felt as if my analytical skills were really being put to the test until Mel said, Gab, chill out. It doesn’t have anything to do with infertility or loss; It’s just a book that a lot of people wanted to read.

Oh. Ok. That made me feel a little better.

And with that, here are my responses to Water for Elephants:

1. Originally forced to share quarters, Kinko (Walter) seems to have an intense dislike for Jacob. One day, Jacob helps Kinko’s dog Queenie and Kinko becomes his friend because of this small act of kindness. Has someone performed a simple act of kindness that changed your feelings toward them? How did this small act affect you? Can just a small and simple thing have a profound effect?

I must be incredibly lucky, because I am having trouble focusing on just one instance.

Right now, I am thinking of the time that I sat on a plane at Heathrow Airport, waiting to take off after saying goodbye to a year of independence and more importantly (at the time) my boyfriend who I thought I would never see again (oh if only, but that’s another story for another blog). I was 21. My heart was breaking. The journey home was the last one I wanted to be taking. I was sitting there, blotchy-faced and miserable, when someone sat down next to me.

And proceeded to talk to me for what seemed like forever. I had no interest in his story – he was traveling to the States and unlike me, was excited about it. He told me all about his upcoming summer job, all the places he wanted to see on his week off (the Grand Canyon, New York, Las Vegas….) and went on and on and on. I had to look annoyed. I had to. But he wouldn’t stop talking.

And because I was busy being annoyed with him, I didn’t have time to cry, or feel sorry for myself, or realize that the plane had taken off, was in the air, and I was almost home and guess what, I was still alive and able to function. Once dinner was served (my gosh, can you remember a time?) he instantly handed over his little wine bottle to me. In response to my puzzled face, he replied, “C’mon, you look like your heart’s about to burst. You need it more than me.” At that moment, it became clear to me that his chatter was completely a diversionary tactic, meant to make just a little bit of that 8 hour flight go a little faster. Which it did. As soon as I realized that he was going out of his way to ease my sorrow, my irritation faded and a real conversation ensued.

We talk a lot on fertility blogs about abiding, and in fact, Mrs. Spit has a wonderful post about this subject. And I think that what this man did for me was a kind of abiding. Being with me in my time of grief. I don’t remember his name. I may have not have even told him mine (I was like that). But the act itself obviously had a profound effect. 13 years later, I still remember it.

2. What does the title mean to you? Why do you think Sara Gruen chose it as the title?

There is a situation at the nursing home, where Jacob goes absolutely nuts on a new male resident who claims to have brought water to the elephants when the circus came to town. The phrase is also used derisively by the owner of the Benzini Bros. when Jacob asks for a job. As is, what? You’ll bring water for the elephants? To me, it feels like a euphemism for something that everyone claims to be familiar with, but may not, in fact, actually exist. Kind of like the Emperor’s Clothes. Perhaps like a Perfect Childhood.

I’m not sure why Ms. Gruen chose it as a title – I would love to hear her response.

3. What is your favorite circus related memory?

Riding on the back of an elephant with my best friend, Jaime. I must have been around 5. She was 2 years younger. We were at the Barnum and Bailey show with our moms. A clown came and took our picture but when it printed out, it was of two owls, not two little girls. Our moms thought it was hilarious. I was confused. Jaime may have been close to tears (she was always close to tears). Seeing that his joke didn’t go over very well with its intended recipients, the clown asked if we’d like to be a part of the show. What?!?! We were escorted back behind the scenes and climbed a metal scaffolding ON TO THE BACK OF A HUGE ANIMAL. There were other kids there with us, and we stacked up, each straddling the kid in front of us, all lined up on the elephants back.

I honestly cannot remember where the elephant went after that. Did we enter the main ring? Did we just sit there for a while? I haven’t a clue. All I remember is smelling straw, and animals, and caramel corn, and trying to understand why the novelty photo of the owls was so darn funny.

Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/. You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: The Empty Picture Frame by Jenna Nadeau (with author participation because she’s a blogger!)

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