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Fertility Notes- a fertility blog with all the news your womb can use

Sticks and Stones - Part IV

by Gabrielle on February 28th, 2008

Many thanks to the talented Angelique from Breaking the Mirror for the latest installment in our Sticks and Stones series, where we share with you some of our (least) favorite comments and let you react. Here’s the full explanation of our little experiment and here’s our next doozy:

If I took a poll of the blogosphere, I am going to guess that this is the comment (or ones similar) that pushes people trying to conceive to the edge of sanity. It is also one of the most commonly heard. I could list here all of the people that have said it to me, but that would take up most of my page.

The issue here (for me) isn’t adoption. It is the misconception that it is easy or more affordable or somehow more admirable or moral than the path I and thousands of others are currently on. I also find it problematic when adoption is seen as a humanitarian project or a good deed, rather than a path to parenthood.

That’s my beef with this comment, what’s yours? Or, do you think there’s no beef to be had?

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POSTED IN: Adoption, babies, humor, living with infertility, shared experiences

5 opinions for Sticks and Stones - Part IV

  • Big J
    Feb 28, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Gab, Great point I have never looked at it like that before. But I could totally understand how adopting could always make one feel like they are borrowing someone elses child. You know you guys have my support! Great Post..

  • stacyb
    Feb 28, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    yeah this comment, or one almost like it, really got me when it came out of the mouth of my best friend. basically it told me, that she really just didn’t get it. i was so sad/annoyed/angry that i actually just told her at the time i needed to go.
    late…after i gathered my thoughts i called her back: she had made this comment very early on in our infertility saga when the idea of any child but our own was just not acceptable anymore then it was acceptable to me, at that time, that we were having serious problems and not just a little blip.
    adoption is a wonderful option and it is one someone needs to come to on their own not through comments by well meaning friends.

  • Big J
    Feb 28, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    Well meaning friends will do it every time….

    Thick skin wins guess…

    Gab, This is so wayyy out of my league hun but great support system!! I love your stuff…

  • Gabrielle
    Feb 28, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    “adoption is a wonderful option and it is one someone needs to come to on their own not through comments by well meaning friends.”

    Stacyb, I couldn’t have said it better.

    And Big J, I am loving your love!

  • Big J
    Feb 28, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    You are my idol Gab… I’m all heart! But this stuff is tough to deal with…

    This is just a whole world I never knew was out there!

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