Introducing….The Sticks and Stones Series
Sure, sticks and stones may break our bones but names (and thoughtless comments, and “helpful” advice you never asked for) gosh, those things can sting!
I was talking with beautiful and talented Angelique who writes Breaking the Mirror, B5’s blog on eating disorders and we started talking about things people have said (knowingly or unknowingly) that hurt more than sticks and stones if you happen to hear then during a fragile time. What’s worse is when words catch you off guard and leave you speechless. Why do those snappy come backs or logical retorts only come to us hours later??
Well, here’s your chance. Over the next few days both here on Fertility Notes and over at Breaking the Mirror, you’ll see videos of some of our (least) favorite words and have your chance to respond like you always wanted to. Leave us some comments saying what you would say if someone said those things to you.
Take your time. Get it all out. And don’t worry, we won’t take it personally. Heck, we may even conjure up a prize for the most creative/honest comebacks.
UPDATE: Here’s a link to Video I
Tags: , advice, conversations, eating disorders, feelings, fertility blog, Gabrielle Sedor, infertility, reproductive health, trying to conceive, trying to have a baby, womens healthRelated Stories
POSTED IN: bmedia, contest, humor, intro, living with infertility, shared experiences
3 opinions for Introducing….The Sticks and Stones Series
stacyb
Feb 22, 2008 at 2:57 pm
looking forward to these.
Clare
Feb 22, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Oh.. this is a hard one for me because I work with families who are seeking my advise for their child’s special needs. In my head I explode with evil responses like ‘just becuase you’ve been a parent for all of 2 years does not invalid my years of experience doing speech herapy, respite care, child care, being a camp consuelor for kiddos with autism, and raising my younger sibling when mom couldn’t.’ I’m well aware that parenting is hard, but I am not an idiot, utterly thrown by a child presented to me.
When I am in a professional role, I just smile and say, ‘No, no one can completley understand your situation, is there something you need to me understand to help me better support you and your family?’
When told this socially, I tend to respond more along the lines of ‘Well that may never happen, but I hope that it does as much as I hope you never have to deal with what I’m going through right now’
If that bites too much, I follow it up with some question about parenting so that they don’t exclude me from that aspect of their life - and that sometimes I’m so strong that I realize they are saying this because they are struggling too and looking at me with envy at my situation of never worrying about arranging childcare.
Gabrielle
Feb 22, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Clare, thank you for this thoughtful response. I completely know what you mean about having different ones on the ready depending on whether or not you have your professional or personal hat on at the time.
Great answers.
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