Fertility Notes- a fertility blog with all the news your womb can use

November is Adoption Awareness Month

by Gabrielle on November 5th, 2007

And to celebrate, I’ll be adding some adoption-specific sites to Fertility Notes blog rolls. Your suggestions are welcome!

I hesitate to talk about my own experiences as an adoptee because domestic adoption is so very different these days. Not better, not worse – just different. I very much appreciated Lori’s post entitled, “360 degrees of adoption” at Weebles Woblog which recognizes the wide world of adoption experiences – from both sides. Likewise, The Open Adoption Blog collects blog posts from adoptive parents sharing both the joys and the heartaches of open adoption.

As an adoptee from the dark ages of Catholic Social Services, where everything was closed, including my medical history, I am personally not too keen on adoption. I question whether or not my (very young) birth parents really made the choice of their own free will or if they were guilted or pressured into it. Finding court documents and notes from orphan’s court this year have fueled those suspicions. I wonder if they think about me. Reading blogs by birthmothers like Paragraphein and Poor Statue just about break my heart. But then there are some like SJ’s that make me love my birthparents and their strength and resolve (if it was indeed their choice) more than ever.

Seeing blogs like Mia’s Saving Grace helps me know that I am not alone when I get mad – not mad at my adoptive parents, not ungrateful, not unaware that my life might be totally different and not necessarily as good had things been different – just mad.

Yet, as someone looking to have a family, I wonder if I could tolerate the openness of domestic adoption as it exists today. Would I be able to handle my own insecurities about not being the birth mother while at the same time letting that person take an active role in my/her child’s life? My first thought is no.

Adoption is nothing to take lightly. In fact, I cringe when well-meaning friends aware of my infertility say things like, “well, you can always just adopt.”

There is no such thing as “just” adopting. As adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents will all attest.

I invite you to share your adoption stories, resources and favorite blogs here in honor of Adoption Awareness Month – let’s all be more aware.

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POSTED IN: Adoption, shared experiences